We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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