My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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