im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
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Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
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It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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