I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The adults are the big ones right?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
