1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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