i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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