did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
