Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
