I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize