im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
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Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
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Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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