just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
