I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
smell my finger.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
