no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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