I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
