When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
