VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize