dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
