dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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