3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
