laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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