dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
