so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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