Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize