hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
