i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
tell me about the eggs
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
