I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
