no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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