...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
