What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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