Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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