I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Randomize
