He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We are all done wearing pants today
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
