So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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