my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Randomize
