My brain says no but my pants say off.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
