if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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