Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Randomize
