shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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