For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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