I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
