I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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