I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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