so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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