just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
