the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
