So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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