Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
