I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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