what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
