I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
