UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Is it because I queefed?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Sorry about my life...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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