Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
