Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
