how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
