Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
