i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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