forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
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I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
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I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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