just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
