Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
