i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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