i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
