The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
