Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
