Im at strip club and am horny
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
This girl wants me to lick her pits
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Some milfs here doing some blow
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.