cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.