If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
