the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
