You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
